Trump Claims 75-Year-Old Critically Injured Social Activist is Antifa; I Claim Trump Is Bonkers

Dear all-white house staff:

I assume your fake-tan man Agent Orange boss is either is his bunker tweeting lie 666 for the day or somewhere in the building grabbing somebody by the pussy, but could you please get this message to him.

You owe Martin Gugino a big apology. It appears this Catholic social activist is better that you could be on his worst day or even than you will be on the best day of your life, which will be when you finally leave the presidency in disgrace. 

Oh, and if you don't mind, would you please give him 2 middle fingers since I won't be there to do it myself.

Thanks and don't forget to take a shower after standing next to your boss. You don't want that shit to rub off on you.


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